tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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