It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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