I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize