I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
