I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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