i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
