I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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