Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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