I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
