How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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