I must be too annoying 4 u.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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