Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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