btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
