You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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