i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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