no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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