Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
