I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
