Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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