There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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