i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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