I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
