Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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