hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
