Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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