you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize