Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
