I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize