was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
