Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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