i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
