I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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