Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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