Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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