There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
