hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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