New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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