Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize