this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
