i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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