I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
