I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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