Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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