Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
