i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
