Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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