My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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