road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
