Screwed.edu
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
