I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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