oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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