I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
