so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
