If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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