walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
