dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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