i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize