Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize
