Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
