Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Pooping to opera.
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