Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
