So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
