Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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