nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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