I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She announced her abortion via fbk
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
