Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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